Beyond our ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing, there is a field.
I will meet you there. Rumi

I do not want to talk about Charlie Hebdo. I want to stay close to home and hone in on what's relevant to mental health, yours and mine, in the safety of our daily lives.

There is always a temptation for us to detach ourselves from the headlines. It's an understandable tendency. Tragic events remind us of the limits of our power. And those of us who do actively respond to a particular crisis usually do so as a call to collective action, not as a call to personal growth. As Leo Tolstoy noted, "Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself."

Yet a consideration of how we might change as individuals in the face of world terror is the primary path to sanity. Cries of justice and rights and honor come readily. Reflection and insight, the cultivation of wisdom, is harder earned. Smarts alone do not get us there.

Smart: quick-witted, brainy, savvy, quick on the uptake.
Wise: discerning, discriminating, judicious, insightful.*
Smarter is a challenge. the darling of satire, the muse of planned obsolescence.
Wiser is an invitation, the product of patience, the true currency of all whose prophetic words we have so twisted or ignored through eons of time.

You may know smart people. You may consider yourself a smart person. You may know people who can speak their minds or stand their ground or preach their cause. You may feel you can do the same. But who in your circle of friends or colleagues or family do you consider wise? More importantly, how do we ourselves grow wise?

I do not want to talk about Charlie Hebdo. But I do want to reference an ancient wisdom, a set of three questions that will serve us steadfastly in the most challenging of situations, if our intention is constructive:

Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

The origin of this litmus test of the quality of our speech or action has been blurred by time. It has been attributed to multiple spiritual disciplines and sages. It has been quoted in multiple writings from 19th century poetry to modern day parenting guides. But whatever or whoever the original source, the call to wisdom remains pure and clear. And let's face it, most of what we say and do in the course of our daily lives falls short of the mark.

I do not want to talk about Charlie Hebdo. I do not want to add to the clamor of lash and backlash, of terror perpetrated by bombs or disrespect perpetrated by words. But I do want to hold the possibility that each of us might, in the course of our ordinary lives, grow wiser along the way.

Additional resources:
Constructive versus Destructive Language
Wisdom from a career in technology.
Encourage Dialogue to Open Communication
The Extrodinary Team Blog
Words Can Heal
Consider taking the pledge.
The Center for Nonviolent Communication

* Oxford American Writer's Thesaurus

Linda J. Rohan, ARNP